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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Commuter’s Road Rage

Believe it when I say this is an actual pic taken with my cell phone in dead stop Kansas City weekday morning traffic. This was yesterday. I hated yesterday. Today was a close second in the worst morning traffic I've hit this Fall so far. Notice in the pic how far up those brake lights go? This was the K10 to I435 on-ramp. It stayed that way for at least 10 more miles.

I live in Lawrence and work in Overland Park. So for the past two years I’ve been scuttling along the K10, 435, and 69 twice a day, 5 days a week in traffic. Those that know me well are familiar with my normal bitching about commuting “40 miles one way” to work Monday through Friday. I thought it might be funny to share with you what I’ve learned from commuting. (This is a recycled post with a few tweaks from one I wrote on back in April.)

Things I’ve learned from Commuting:

1. Commute Karaoke is funner when you're not alone & you both know the song.

2. Guys with pacifiers passing you on the K10 are not only fascinating but really creepy. “Why does that guy suck on a binky while he drives anyways? Drive faster & get away from him, STAT!” The craziest part is that I know he has to live in Lawrence.

3. Always expect heavy traffic & asshole drivers whenever there is a decision to be made. “zOMG do I want to merge left or right? Oh noes! I don’t remember how to merge! This is a very important decision, I must go 25 mph til I sort this out. Was it the 435 or the 35?”

4. Quivera always has drama no matter what time of the day you must past this exit. If it’s not a vehicle fire, a stalled car, ninjas, a cop who finds it hilarious that no one will pass him going 45 mph in a 65 mph zone, an accident, or sword fights, you can be guaranteed that it is definitely something lagging up the commute.

5. Every day that I belt up and head into the wonderful world of commuting I know that I am risking my life and should receive “hazard pay” for the brave acts I perform daily on the dangerous roads with idiot drivers who must have gotten their licenses from cracker jack boxes. (Going off on a tangent here) One time a PT Cruiser who was going the opposite direction on the K10 flew across the center grass dividing area & headed straight for Kelso & I (when we carpooled). We both screamed & Kelso swerved. After he passed us, he crossed back over to his side & drove off. Yea, commuting is at least that exciting once a month, every month. I've had blow outs, break downs, near death experiences & speeding tickets.

6. Even the sweetest of people, like myself, can develop the worst symptoms of Road Rage and no soccer mom is safe.

7. If it rains, snows or a cloud passes in front of the sun, Kansas drivers forget how to drive. I call this weather related amnesia.

8. A cop going eastbound will not hesitate to flip a bitch in a heartbeat to pull your ass over going westbound for speeding.

9. During the winter, commuting plays out like Hover Kart Battle or Mario Kart but with more carnage. You always feel like you’ve won if you make it to work and didn’t end up as a smoking wreck trailed by skid marks in the snow on the shoulder of the road.

10. I honestly believe that Kansas has the most vanity plates than any other state I've lived in. I’ve lived a lot of places in the U.S and never seen so many. Figuring them out is part of the fun. Just one of many games I play. Someday I should post the collection of pictures I have & let you my favorite & only reader, play along.


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KiK loves comments, feedback, and suggestions. Got something to say? Say it. If you'd prefer to contact Kimberlee directly, send an email to: kimberlee [dot] bourdon [at] gmail [dot] com