Love Thursday...

That's my family... who wouldn't be proud of a family like this? Really. They are my heart and my home.

What Do You Want Out of Life?

I'd like to think my wants are simple enough. The American Dream? Sure. Does anyone really even know what that means?

I want an interesting life.
I want adventure.
I want to be a wife, a lover, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt...
I want to be someone that others are proud of, but most of all.... I want to be proud of me.
I want a house in the country (white picket fence optional).
I want to feel like a family.
I want my house to be a home.
I want home to be where my kids can visit years after they've moved out & remember fondly when away.
I want for my kids everything I didn't have... Two loving parents, stability, love, dreams, and goals.
I want to be comfortable.
I want to have fun.
I want to enjoy life.

I wasted away years of my life, I mean YEARS just going through the motions but not really being there. Once upon a time I was a wife. Not the best wife. There was a time that I was, but that was a very long time ago. I was a stay at home mom. Not the best stay at home mom.

I'd like a chance to start over...

According to You - Surprise Me

I’m by no means an expert (I’ll leave that to the sexy, snarky, outspoken Dear Red Head) though I may be certifiable on occasion so take it with a grain of salt or run with it but use at your own risk. This is all about keeping the love tank full. So let’s get on with it, after all it is Spring, shouldn’t we all be twitterpated? February has come & gone – long gone. That doesn’t mean you have to wait til next year to show your significant other how much you care. This is easy for guys, of course. They may think we’re really complicated animals, but honestly most women will melt into a pile of goo when given a “just because” bouquet of flowers from the neighbor’s garden (stealing not encouraged), gas station or local supermarket. It doesn’t matter where he physically acquired them, we know where they came from – the heart.

Umm but what about guys? Aside from sexual favors do we really know what the equivalent to our bouquet of flowers really is to him? Now isn’t that the million dollar question?

I polled a handful of my guy friends and the results were somewhat typical, similar and also some unexpected answers were given. The handful of male friends polled ranged from single, dating, engaged & married. Before I post the suggestions just know that you can always ask your guy “What makes *you* feel special?” Explore, communicate… otherwise you’re just assuming that he’ll like what the next guy does and that isn’t always the case. Everyone is different so you can’t assume everyone has “predictable tastes”.
Suggestions from the guy gallery were:

• Food.
  It might take a little more effort than flowers, but making a favorite meal, or even picking up a good drive thru meal is a good gesture. [This was probably the number one answer that I got]
• Sports.
  “I love it when a girlfriend/wife watches sports with me, as long as there aren’t too many dumb questions. I don’t mind explaining more complicated rules, but don’t ask me which team has the ball, if you’re watching, you’ll figure out who’s who.”
• Massage.
  Sometimes a good stress reliever is welcome, but watch out, as it might be taken as foreplay.
• *His* Drink.
  If he’s a beer man, a six pack of his favorite beer, if he’s a scotch or whiskey man, a flask of his brand, and such. Of course, this only works if he drinks and you know his brand. Of similar note, you could do the same thing for food, his favorite food [back to food - actually 5 out of 7 guys said food]
• Whole Package.
  “Know how to make a guy happy? Show up naked. Make him ecstatic? Bring beer.”
• Physical Contact.
  Caress his neck, run your fingers through his hair, rub his arm, let him lean on you.
• Quality Time.
  Find out what he really enjoys. Is it action movies, tennis, hiking, video games? Plan some quality time for just the two of you to do something that he actually enjoys regardless of your apprehension to it.
• A Smile.
  “#1 thing that shows me though is when she smiles at me. A smile says more than anything. When you know someone well you cant hide anything in a smile and you can see how someone really feels about you.”
• Unplugging.
  Stepping away from Twitter, Facebook, emails and more importantly the cell phone. Giving your undivided attention and time can be one of the easiest, simplest things you can do. “Shutting out the world for a little while and giving you time together on your own.”
• Words of Affirmation (or support).
  “I think a random peck on the cheek and a “you’re important to me” would lift me up for a whole day.” Let him know verbally that you appreciate him, that he is important to you & that you love him.
• Love Notes.
  I’m pretty confident saying that I think most guys would find this sort of cheesy but that’s not saying there aren’t guys out there that love cheese. Mayhaps your guy is just that type. Put little love notes in/around the places/things he goes near every day/night.
• Music.
  “Picking up a new cd of one of my favorite artists is always great. It’s really cool then listening to the music together in the car together or around the house, reminds you of her nice gesture. Plus music for me is super emotional.” Or you can create a mix cd of all the favorite songs you two share or ones that remind you of him.
• Acts of Service.
  Take that however you want to interpret it. Some guys prefer the more physical gifts that we can give to other pure thoughtful things we can do. If he’s a physical guy, give into his physical wants if that is what truly makes him feel special. Keep something special though that you only do on occasion because too much of a good thing makes it an expectation and not a gift. You know that special thing you do with your tongue? Yea, that.

If you have any other suggestions or would like to chime in, feel free to add a comment and join the discussion.

[Side Note: This post was written by me over on OurLawrence on April 22, 2010 but I decided to move it on over here where it truly belongs. An oldie but a goodie]

Silly Silly Valentine’s Day…

I have an ongoing love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t a huge fan in school, absolutely hated it when I was married and then I met Hawks. He gave me the first good Valentine’s I’d ever had. I’m not going to go into details but to sum it up, we boinked & we boinked well.

Anyways, I can live with or without V-Day. I’ve decided that since our anniversary is 5 days from V-Day & has been for the last three years & will be for many more that I no longer gethave to celebrate it. Woah! I just realized I completed that thought with penis logic. Go me! We can just celebrate our anniversary, right? And we can do that anytime between February 9th & February 14th. Oh yea, totally. We still get the lovey dovey day discount wherever we go – benefit SCORE! Three course dinner for two only $25.99… Uhuh.

I was thinking about this last night… why do I still feel bitter about Valentine’s Day? I have a great man in my life. I feel loved. The color pink doesn’t make me vomit. So what is it?

I’ve come up with this theory – I hate the commercialized fantasy that is created in my head. That’s right. It’s my own fault but I can place blame on the media too. I see a commercial — there’s a storm, she’s scared of the thunder, fireplace nicely lit in the background. Thunder hits again, she jumps, he’s there, right behind her to soothe her fears and then BAM! He busts out a gorgeous necklace & promises that he will be there for her forever.

Seriously?

That shit does not happen in real-life. Every kiss does not begin with “Kay”, sometimes it begins with a couple Long Island Ice Teas at Harbour Lights on Mass Street, which leads to other dirty dirty things. I digress. So I guess my problem is this fairytale crap has me disillusioned. I see this stuff & then I build it up in my head. Sure this could happen, right? I work my 2nd job, it’s our anniversary, I don’t get off until midnight, I come in the house, everyone is asleep, I flip on the kitchen light & there’s flowers on the bar – BAM! Actually no, not bam because this didn’t happen. This is what I mean, all this commercialism creates a false fantasy in womens heads.

Love isn’t a one-day a year event, sponsored by Hallmark, Hershey’s Kisses, and the American Florists Association! Are you trying to increase America’s suicide rate? If you can’t show someone you love them the other 364, then what’s the point?  Sometimes Mostly always the commercialized scenarios just don’t happen, not even on February 14th of any year. That’s life. It sucks & we deal.

Valentine’s Day – I love your chalky conversation hearts & chocolate I can buy the day after at 50% off but other than that, please show your self out cause I don’t need ya.
Love,
Kimberlee

It’s been… a journey.

So as of tomorrow I will have officially been a Kansan for 3 years. Not only is it my 3 year anniversary of moving from Hawaii to Kansas but it’s also the 3 year anniversary of launching a real-life relationship with the love of my life, Hawks. As most stories these days go, we originally started our relationship online, in the virtual world of Secondlife. We met, hung out, fell in love and I decided that it was time to end one chapter of my life to begin another — with him.
So here I am.
More in love with him than the day I stepped off a plane into the unknown.
Thankful for him, everything we have & the things we still have to look forward to. (Though I know that I don’t show it nearly as much as I should).
*enter the mush*

Dearest Hawks -
You have been my rock, when I needed stability. You’ve been soft, when I’ve needed hugs & comfort. You’ve been my comic relief on bad days when I needed a smile. You’ve been my best friend, when I’ve felt alone. You’ve been my logic, when mine has flown the coop. You’ve been everything that I’ve needed when I’ve needed it and I just hope that I’ve done the same for you. We may have had our ups as well as our downs but I love you and there isn’t anyone I’d rather stumble through life with. Here’s to our future…
Love For Always & Forever,
Happy Anniversary my heart…
Your Jells <3