I. Am. An. Asshole.

I'm in a funk. A job funk. I've been doing this job since 2008 which means I've been driving the same 38 mile/45-60 minute (each way) commute for nearly 4 years? Yup. It feels like longer. I hate commuting. After two years in I even wrote a post about it - Life in the Carpool Lane. Of course that's back when I carpooled. I have opinions on that too. That's another post. Mostly though, commuting sucks. I imagine commuting would be so much better if there was another route other than the same one I drive everyday, teleportation, better morning radio programming, and/or a train. I'm burnt out. So burnt out.

So commuting aside which is the biggest issue, I also, hate my job. Web-designing/SEO is definitely what I *can* do, but it *most* definitely is not what I *want* to do. This is why I'm an asshole. I have a skill, I make good money, I can wear jeans, I get free soda, I have a desk, I have stability, vacation time, a very cool boss (mostly) etc. But I'm unhappy. Again, it's mostly because of the commute. I'd say 80% commute, 20% that I don't like what I do. There are so many people who can't find a job in today's screwed economy & here I am bitching about the job I have. I. Am. An. Asshole.

You know what's worse? I'm not even sure what it is that I would be happier doing. I'd love to get another County job like I had in California. I'm not even sure how it works here. In California it was a lot of testing. I'd like to work in Topeka or Lawrence to switch up the commute or not have much of one at all. I'd like to go back to school. I don't know when I'll find time to do that or what I'd even take classes in.

Ugh! I'm in a funk and I want out!

Stranded on a deserted island?

"What is the one thing you would bring if you were stranded on a deserted island?"

I always question this question. Nobody plans on being stranded on an island and if you were to "plan" to be stranded by deciding on what you would take if you were, wouldn't you "plan" to not be stranded by bringing a boat?

I guess there's always a % (I don't know statistics, that's math. I don't do math) chance that you could end up stranded anytime you take a plane over the ocean, go on a cruise, or what have you. Pack a Boy Scouts Guide to Survival, people. 

The real question, hypothetically speaking, should be... What do you think you'd have on you that would be the most useful if you ended up stranded on a deserted island? I bet it won't be your lipstick or stilettos.

This is ponderous man, really ponderous.

Moving in Together

Well, Hawks & I officially moved in together on August 12th. It only took me this long to blog about it because I've been stressed up to my eyeballs with other stuff.

I absolutely love the house, I do. I think every one of us does. We're no longer stepping all over each other which is awesome. I really do wish I could have taken a picture of my old master bedroom & put it side by side with a picture of my new master bedroom. You'd be amazed at the size difference. I know I still am. In fact, last week while I was on vaca, Astrid (our dog) and I danced in my room, literally, to Rick Astley. Don't judge. I didn't have room to do that in my old room.

There are a few things I miss about my old place. One thing that sticks out the most that Hawks has not-so-strongly-worded would not be at the new place that we share. THE JUNK DRAWER! I no longer have a junk drawer. It's driving me nuts. Where will I put my junk? I have junk. It needs a place.

I miss having me, the washer/dryer, bedrooms and the same floor all together. Now it's all up or down. Washer/dryer on main level with rooms up & down stairs. The good thing is that Bunky can do her own damn laundry. That saves me a trip downstairs.

I also kind of miss not having to mow. Don't get me wrong, I do love to mow. Seriously, no bullshit. However it is so frustrating that we currently do not own a mower (we never needed one) and I can see that the grass is starting to need a mow-cut. I don't have the proper tools damn it!

I miss how close everything was to the old place. The only thing close now is the Miller Mart, and a small strip mall of businesses I most likely won't use - A Salon, A Fly Fishing/Tackle Shop, A Massage Place, A Deli, and a Farm Insurance Company for like farmers and stuff. I mean let's be honest, the only two stores there I can definitely see me using is the Miller Mart gas station & the liquor store.

Anyroo, that's my update for now. I have to get ready to leave to head home for Final Friday. Stay tuned til next time for the "Evil Honey Locust Trees" or "How I Pouted Until the State Removed the Honey Locust Trees"

Postcards from Paradise

So I said I'd blog at least once a week, right? Even if I really have nothing to talk about. This is hard. So I had to dig deeper. My life isn't nearly as exciting as it appears to be. Hah.

Today's Topic: Travel

Here's a Kimberlee Factoid... I have never been out of the United States. Wait, do you count Mexico? I don't really count Mexico. Especially since I was under 18 by a few years and highly supervised. The best I did in Mexico was tan & drink Coca Cola for a few pesos. Yea, we're not counting Mexico.

So, as I was saying. I've never been anywhere outside of the U.S. The farthest I've gone is O'ahu, Hawaii where I lived for 3 years. I know everyone says "Wow that's awesome." Trust me. It wasn't. I was in a bad place those three years. I was in a dead marriage, I was suffering from a severe internet addiction and I was in a deep hole of dark depression, all the while living in paradise. I found my happy place in Kansas but that's another blog.

I can't say that I've ever had a strong urge to go somewhere outside the U.S. You know, like those people who dream of visiting Paris, or backpacking across Europe, or safaris in Africa? Yea, none of that has ever been me. A few times I've wanted to visit Australia. Kind of in a "that would be nice, I like their accents" type of way. I could or couldn't, it makes no difference to me.


Hawks, my better half, has been everywhere, or at least it seems that way to someone like me who has been nowhere. Sometimes he'll tell me stories of this place or that place, etc etc. I wish I had better experiences that I could share. I can share stateside experiences from California, Washington State, Kentucky, and Tennessee. None of which would be as cool as his travels. Obviously.

About a year or so ago I read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. For those who aren't aware, this is a true story. Elizabeth visited Italy, India & Indonesia. I highly suggest it as a read. Thanks to Ms. Gilbert's book, I now have that urge. I want to visit Indonesia. I want to visit it so badly. This... this is the first & only thing I have on my bucket list. Sure Italy sounded nice too. I'd like to have pizza in Italy. Visiting India? Not so much.

So that's it. That's my blog post for the week. I want to go to Indonesia. The end.

Sorry, Didn't See You There

Oh well hello there bloggity blog -

I'm sorry, I didn't see you standing there.

I know it's been awhile and I don't call or write as much as I should. Honestly, I do know this. You've got your things, I've got mine and you know how time gets away.

Whatcha looking at?

Oh my new iPhone?

Yea, it's spiffy huh? I like it a lot too.

Wait, what?

Nooooo. Of course you haven't been replaced by my "new toy". Don't be silly. It's just a phone.

Well, yes it is full of sexy, awesome apps and stuff and yes it's also an iPod but really...

Okay fine.

What do you want from me?

I've been busy. Really busy.

Fine. I promise I will check in at least once a week from now on. Even if I have absolutely nothing to say.

Happy now? Good.

I'm glad we had this talk. See ya in a week. <3

Owie Owie OUCH!

I've mentioned the KCCC (Kansas City Corporate Challenge) before. I haven't been blogging about it as much as I had hoped to but... meh.

For a recap: I've done the 1 mile walk, 3 hours of disc golf, 2 days of dodgeball, a 100m run and the latest event was 3 on 3 basketball on Saturday.

Now you can spank me, bite me, pull my hair but whatever you do... Do not cause me internal pain!

I have no tolerance at all for internal pain. It makes me nauseous and all puktastic. That's what happened on Saturday. I puked all over the K10 Kill Creek offramp. Yup, on my way home.

Backtracking here... We were playing our 2nd and last game of 4 on Saturday (there were two forfeits). The other team was aggressive and kinda scary. Needless to say we had to play harder too. Coming down off a rebound, I landed wrong on my left leg. I felt a *POP* in the back center of my calf & I was done. The pain wasn't bad at first because I honestly think I was in shock. I hobbled out to my car to head the 45 minutes home.

Half way home I knew I wasn't gonna make it. I started sweating & feeling really ill. I pulled off the highway and let go of my breakfast. My boys were horrified that I was blowing chunks out my car door. Poor kids. It happens.

So it's been about 5 days now & I have less pain, less of an idea what is wrong with it and it's so swollen that my ankle bone has been taken hostage by what now appears to be a 75 yr old woman's cankle. I did manage to make it to a doctor that was recommended to me that charged me for a visit where all he did was touch my foot twice & order an ultrasound. Oh the business of being a medical provider. It's almost like prostitution. It was quick, I get screwed, he barely had to touch me and I'm left broke & confused.

I never want to pay for an ultrasound again either. I think if I spend $115, I should get a chance to try my hand at diagnosing (or at the very least - SEE THE DAMN THING), keep the pictures & get a free cd of it mixed to my choice of soundtrack. I didn't even get a free pen.

Oh well.. I should hopefully know something by tomorrow.  Hopefully.

[UPDATE:] Severe bruise on the main muscle that connects to my bone. Rest it, rest it, rest it. It'll heal on it's own.

KCCC 2011

Yea, that was me trying my hand at doodling - again. Someday I might actually perfect it. I've tried different versions of "me" and can't come up with one I truly love. It's a process.

So tomorrow kicks off the annual Kansas City Corporate Challenge or KCCC for short. That doodle? Yea, that basically sums up how I feel about KCCC.

Tomorrow night Goop & I will join others at the KCCC Kick Off Party & one mile walk. Then things get really interesting. This Saturday I will compete in partners Disc Golf. I've never played. Ever. I'm not even sure of the rules. I think it's basically like real golf [also never played] but with a Frisbee. I'm sure it'll go all wrong. You know like "horribly" wrong and all that. As you know “horribly” is my favorite kind of gone wrong.

 This year I decided to sign up for more than I ever have in the past two years I've participated. Why? Because I'm crazy! Oh yes. I'm super crazy! I'll come at you like a spider monkey! I WILL!

My events look like this:

• 1 - mile Walk
• Disc Golf
• Dodgeball
• 100m Dash - Track
• 3 on 3 Basketball
• 3 on 3 Soccer
• Bowling
• Tug O War

What doesn't humiliate kill me makes me stronger, right? I cannot wait until July when this is all over, like a bad dream. Wish me g'luck!

Hate is a Very Strong Word

Heroes are *not* born, they're *made*

I've said this somewhere before, but let me state it here too... I've never considered myself an activist. That's not to say that I don't have strong opinions & feelings on things, because I do. I most certainly do. Most of the time I have no idea how to get involved in the crusade but if I feel strongly enough, I know I can find a way. The last thing I'll ever do as a living breathing caring person is have someone tell me what I should be okay with.

If you've ever been unclear on what I stand for, believe in or feel is the absolute right thing - let me fill you in.

Animal Rights - I feel that animals should be treated less like animals. I believe that if you neglect an animal, starve an animal or cause any harm to any animal on purpose - you should have to face severe consequences. I believe in Patrick's Law for stronger animal abuse legislation and to educate the public on all animal welfare issues. "Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in the entire world is more grateful for your kindness than mine. Don't be angry with me for long and don't look me up as punishment. After all, you have your job, your friends, and entertainment. I only have YOU. Your devoted pet." And remember that April is Prevention of Animal Cruelty Month.


Human Rights & Equality - I feel that no one should be treated unfairly, bullied or discriminated against because of their gender, color, sexual orientation or gender identity. I feel that same sex marriage should be made legal not only in every US state but legal for the world. I believe that people (mostly the older generation - in my opinion) fear change, difference and the unknown. I also feel that it is our duty to educate the ignorant & help be a collective voice.

Environmental/Animal Issues - I believe we need to stop destroying natural habitats for "our convenience". So what if we have to drive an extra mile or more to the highway everyday if we save the homes of many species dependent on a section of land. Seriously. I have a lot more on this subject but I'm trying not to write a novel here.

Those are my main three that I'm very passionate about and I am open to debate any time and any where. Just ask my Mom. Haha We rarely see eye to eye on a lot of issues and we can debate it 45 minutes at a time while I drive into work or on my way home. Seriously though, if you'd like to add anything, feel free to comment or drop me an email: kimberlee [dot] bourdon [at] gmail [dot] com

What do you stand for?

“If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.” Malcom X

A Buffet of Fantastic!

I'm a newly born comic-book fangirl... You'd know this is you read my "Confessions of a Dork" post from awhile back. I've looked toward a couple comic book stores, mini comic-cons, the local library, the internet, etc. etc. to get my fixes. The problem is, the comics I know are "web-comics" and of course I know the ones that everyone has at least some basic knowledge of: Spiderman, Batman, Superman, yada yada. I couldn't tell you the exact species of spider that bit Peter Parker, or Superman's Kryptonian mother's name like most hardcore fans can, but that's okay because I'm my own special breed of comic art fangirl.

My comic love comes from a lot of web-comics like Girls With Slingshots, Shortpacked, Dumbing of Age, NPC Comic... Oi! the list could go on & on [complete list here]. It's these webcomics that led me to other non-web comics like "The Walking Dead" which was made into an AMC series last year. It's awesome by the way. And even though I've never seen the "Sin City" movie, I fell in love with the comics. After "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" came out last year (BEST MOVIE EVER!) I got into that comic book series... and that my friends is how it happened. Back in October Hawks said it was a "phase" I was going through. I wonder if he still thinks that as it grows bigger & bigger. Haha. I told him that I'd love to have him commission one of our super duper talented local artist friends (*cough cough* Leo Hayden, Big Toddie) to do some sort of comic art for the house as my birthday pressie this year. He just rolled his eyes. *Sigh*

Wow! I've written too much on this already & have gotten way of the path of my original point so let me leave you with what I'm most excited about at the moment - this:

Rock And Comic-Con

Time Saturday, May 21 · 5:00pm - 10:00pm

Location Uptown Theater
3700 Broadway
Kansas City, MO
Created By Jim Kilroy
   
Bands, vendors, artists and more.

Andddddddd *I'M* GOING!

It’s been… a journey.

So as of tomorrow I will have officially been a Kansan for 3 years. Not only is it my 3 year anniversary of moving from Hawaii to Kansas but it’s also the 3 year anniversary of launching a real-life relationship with the love of my life, Hawks. As most stories these days go, we originally started our relationship online, in the virtual world of Secondlife. We met, hung out, fell in love and I decided that it was time to end one chapter of my life to begin another — with him.
So here I am.
More in love with him than the day I stepped off a plane into the unknown.
Thankful for him, everything we have & the things we still have to look forward to. (Though I know that I don’t show it nearly as much as I should).
*enter the mush*

Dearest Hawks -
You have been my rock, when I needed stability. You’ve been soft, when I’ve needed hugs & comfort. You’ve been my comic relief on bad days when I needed a smile. You’ve been my best friend, when I’ve felt alone. You’ve been my logic, when mine has flown the coop. You’ve been everything that I’ve needed when I’ve needed it and I just hope that I’ve done the same for you. We may have had our ups as well as our downs but I love you and there isn’t anyone I’d rather stumble through life with. Here’s to our future…
Love For Always & Forever,
Happy Anniversary my heart…
Your Jells <3

C'mon Already...

These days nothing can seem to move fast enough. I'm ready to GO GO GO! Everything else is just... crawl crawl crawl. I've been in Kansas for three years now (as of Feb 8th, 2011), just waiting and waiting and waiting some more for something to happen. This is the year baby, oh yea 2011 - I can feel it.

• Wedding? Eventually.
• My first house? I hope so.
• A raise? Oh hells yes! Mayhaps.
• A hammock in the shade? Make it so.

I raise my glass, a toast to making it happen - anyone who dares to stand in my way can lick my glass.

And we're back...

Welcome to the New Year & Monday back to work. I thought I'd do a post about my New Year's resolutions but I've decided this year I'm resoluting (so not a word, huh?) to not have any. That WAS NOT my lazy way out so stop looking at me like that. I *did* think about it - honest. I thought "mayhaps I should blog more" and "mayhaps I'll work harder towards getting the farm I want this year", etc etc. Honestly though I really don't need to declare these resolutions. They're more like "Damn it *this* will happen!" or, ya know, it won't.

As for the blogging more... I've said it before, but ya know it's hard. It's like soooooo hard. Sometimes I have this really great idea and I want to blog it but then I get distracted by shiny things and the motivation to blog is just gone. By the time I actually sit down to blog I end up just staring at my screen wondering what I could possibly write that would be even remotely entertaining. Of course then I begin to agonize over finding anything, just a breadcrumb, or speck of interesting anything from my life and realize "Nope, can't blog that" or "oops that might be too personal" or "Whelp, that might piss people off even if I found it hilarious." Needless to say, I'm my biggest censor. I'll work on that, I promise.

Until then you get an update. Ooooo exciting! *Not*

I believe I'm finally finding my groove working two jobs. Yes, two. My full time web-design job pays well but if I intend to keep my Batmobile, a second job was needed. That's where KU comes in. I'm not sure what the actual name of my 2nd job is but if I had to name it myself, I'd say "awesome custodian to KU athletics department and stuff." It's like night & day. Kinda like having a secret identity that's not really secret. Monday - Friday from 8-4 p.m. I'm a mild mannered web designer spamming up your internets in a cubicle and by night I'm a fast paced cleaning machine (with a radio, huzzah). In between I'm attempting to raise kids, play WoW (World of Warcraft) and keep my fiance happy. I think in the end I achieve zen or something. Hey, I can dream.

Anyroo, here's to my first blog post of 2011 and the promise of more.

Happy New Year poppets!

Confessions of a Dork

So this is a new obsession. My fiance likes to refer to it as a phase. Apparently I go through a lot of different phases & he tolerates them so I guess it's not all bad.

Recently I started getting into web-comics. Not just a little bit, but like a lot. It started innocent enough with Girls With Slingshots. I loved reading new strips Mon-Fri but then Saturday & Sunday would roll around & waiting sucked. I started searching for new reads, new comics that could fill the update-less days in between. This lead me to other comics like Fox Trot, Something Positive, Nerf This, Under the Influence, All New Issues, Scout Crossing, Dumbing of Age and the one that brought me to Batman... Shortpacked! I told you it's a new obsession so just stop shaking your head right now at all the links.

Shortpacked will do a strip every so often with Batman claiming to whoever will listen that he is Batman. "I'm Batman!" I'm usually so easily amused that the randomness of it in the strip cracks me up like you would not believe. I've changed my computer wallpaper often to a particular strip that has had me completely "LOL'd" for days.

I know a lot of people don't get it, and that's fine, It's one of those "You had to be there" scenarios I guess. Well that is the short story of why I love Batman. Just for the hell of it though, I'll throw in some more. I'm nice like that.

• Batman is human. Duh! He is proof that just about anyone can be a super hero. Batman shows that you don't need super abilities to stand up for what's right. Okay so his alter-ego Bruce Wayne is one rich mo-fo and can afford the technology that it requires to be just a lil more super than the average Joe with all those cool ass toys.
• He's not just some guy in tights. Batman's costume strikes fear into the criminals of Gotham City. He's dark, mysterious, and driven by the death of his parents. So he's kinda messed up and well, that's kinda hot.
• The Batmobile! Need I say more? Superman gets to fly, Spiderman gets to swing, but Batman gets to ride around in style. Who else can fight crime and still look fresh? I'm pretty sure that the Batmobile is like a gazillion times more awesome than Kit from Nightrider. Seriously the bat ride was like the first ever car with GPS. You think your OnStar is cool? His bat wheels are linked up to his computer in the Batcave. Oh OnStar doesn't do that for you? You don't have a batcave? Well then.

Still don't love Batman like I do? Well okay then, I get that. Nobody can love Batman like I do. Nobody!!!

I'm Batman!